News

Talking to people who are grieving

Posted on November 20th, 2017

Grief is a highly-personal emotion that effects all of us differently. Some people will hide away and others will throw themselves into events with vigour to keep themselves occupied. We all have coping mechanisms that help us through the days when the grief seems as if it will engulf everything we do. Grief tends to impact how people react and behave around those who are grieving which makes it just as awkward and intolerable for them, which can leave people feeling isolated.

If you struggling to speak to your friends or colleagues who are grief-stricken, then here are some tips on how to approach them:

It’s always good to speak to someone

Talking to someone who is grieving can be a hugely daunting experience but it should never put you off. Whether you know what to say or how to say it is irrelevant, you must continue to engage with people to make them feel loved and know that they can come to you when they need to. Without people around us when we are grieving you can quickly become cut off and feel disconnected from the outside world.

Don’t be afraid to talk about the person

Many people skirt around the subject when some is grieving. They’ll talk about everything else rather than the elephant in the room as they are scared to approach it. A good way to bypass this is to talk from your own personal memories and stories about those who have passed away. Even if it evokes emotion in the griever it will allow them to open up about how they feel through hearing about your experiences.

Never change the subject

Emotionally-charged conversations are not something that many people enjoy and when some is grieving their feelings and stories can be heart-wrenching. As a friend you should be expecting these moments and you must be prepared to listen no matter how hard the subject matter is. By pouring their heart out to you they will be potentially helping themselves and taking the next steps in their grief journey.

Avoid clichés at all costs

Time being a healer may be true in many respects as it makes things easier to cope with, but it is not something that needs preaching to someone who is struggling badly with grief. As grief is so unique to each person no off-the-shelf solution will work. It is best to listen to what they have to say and when appropriate to talk from personal experience and explain what worked for you as it could also be useful to them.

Suggest events to fill their social calendar

Weekends and holidays are times when grieving people can really struggle as they are unlikely to ask for your support. Empty promises do very little and if you do want to offer comradery then realistic and small goals that are achievable are best. Offer to make dinner at their house or take them food shopping at first. They may wish to go to a special place to them or look through old photos and this can be very rewarding for them and should be encouraged.

Here at Freedom Funerals, we have made it our vocation to help people in their toughest times and this includes listening to you if you need to talk. You can call our understanding team on 01206 862963 for a chat.